Clarissa’s Marriage Choice in Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway: Why Clarissa Chooses Richard over Peter Walsh

Understanding Clarissa’s Marriage Choice in Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway

In Virginia Woolf’s novel Mrs. Dalloway (1925), the heroine Clarissa Dalloway often reflects on her youth and the choices she made. One of the most important is Clarissa’s marriage choice: she marries Richard Dalloway instead of her former love, Peter Walsh. This decision colors her thoughts and feelings throughout the story. It is often considered that Clarissa “sacrificed passion for the security and tranquility of an upper-class life” by marrying Richard. Richard himself later thinks Clarissa was right – she needed the support and stability that Peter could not give.

Clarissa Dalloway’s inner thoughts and memories in Mrs. Dalloway.

Clarissa’s decision is rooted in both personal and social factors. Although Clarissa is content, she “never lets go of the doubt” about marrying Richard instead of Peter. She understands life with Peter would have been hard, but she also recognizes that choosing Richard meant giving up the passionate life she once dreamed of. In her own mind, Clarissa admits it was “not right to marry” Peter because she needed the assurance and social support that Richard could provide.

Clarissa and Peter Walsh: A Past Romance

Clarissa Dalloway and Peter Walsh’s intense emotional relationship.

Clarissa and Peter Walsh first fell in love in their youth. They shared exciting moments – even a famously passionate kiss with the free-spirited Sally Seton – suggesting Clarissa experienced real passion with Peter. However, after a short engagement, Clarissa broke things off. Peter left England (to manage debts in India) while Clarissa stayed in London. Years later, Peter returns, still in love with Clarissa. She tells him she was “right not to marry Peter” because she “wanted support” in life, not just romance. In other words, Clarissa realized that Peter’s unpredictable, romantic nature might have made a successful marriage impossible.

• Clarissa once loved Peter Walsh and felt passion with him, but she ultimately ended their engagement.
• After Peter returned from abroad still devoted to her, Clarissa confirmed she needed a husband who offered steady support.
• By saying she “wanted support” (not that she was weak), Clarissa shows her practical reasons for marrying someone else.

Richard Dalloway: The Man Clarissa Married

Richard Dalloway stands in sharp contrast to Peter. He is steady, conventional, and wealthy. Clarissa’s family and society expected her to marry a respectable, well-connected man – exactly the role Richard fills. Importantly, Richard provides the stability and resources Clarissa desired. In Woolf’s depiction, Richard becomes the “foundation of stability” for Clarissa: he brings money, social status, respect, and even freedom. For example, Richard’s wealth and manners grant Clarissa “a room to herself” and the ability to keep her own space. In short, Richard offers Clarissa the security (financially and socially) that Peter never could.

Clarissa Dalloway’s marriage to Richard Dalloway and social stability

Despite the lack of passionate fireworks with Richard, Clarissa knows she can rely on him. He admires tradition and order (even thinking of Buckingham Palace as “dignified and symbolic” in Section 7), and he doesn’t challenge Clarissa’s independence. In fact, Clarissa later observes that in her marriage “a little license, a little independence” exists – something Richard “gave her”. She has her own activities (like throwing parties) and Richard gives her space, whereas with Peter “everything had to be shared; everything gone into”.

Clarissa Dalloway’s need for independence and personal space.

Clarissa’s Marriage Choice: Stability Over Passion

Why did Clarissa choose Richard instead of Peter? Scholars point to a mix of personal temperament and societal expectation:

• Need for Support: Clarissa admits she wanted a partner who could support her. Both Clarissa and Richard agree that Peter wou ldn’t have provided the stability she needed.
• Social Status: Marrying Richard meant class, respectability, and an established home. Peter’s life – often described by Clarissa as a “waste” or “pity” – could never offer the same upper-class security.
• Personal Independence: Clarissa valued the independence she could keep with Richard. She famously says marriage should allow “a little license… independence,” which Richard accommodates. With Peter, she feared losing herself entirely in an all-consuming romance.
• Avoiding Chaos: Clarissa believed that if she had married Peter, their intense love might have destroyed them both. She felt “she had to break with [Peter] or they would have been destroyed”. In her view, leaving Peter was painful but necessary to preserve whatever remained of their relationship.

In short, Clarissa’s marriage choice was a pragmatic one. She traded the excitement of youth for a predictable, ordered life. As one critic notes, Woolf portrays marriage as a “transaction based on similar values and stability”, and Clarissa embodies that idea. By choosing Richard, she accepted the sacrifices – a quieter life and fewer passionate thrills – in exchange for the secure, respectable existence she thought right for her.

After Choosing Richard: Clarissa’s Reflections

Throughout Mrs. Dalloway, Clarissa revisits her past decision. She often feels a flutter of regret or longing when Peter appears in her mind. Readers can observe that she is uneasily aware that she sacrificed passion when marrying Richard. Peter, for his part, never quite forgives Clarissa for picking Richard over him, and he calls their marriage “nothing in the world so bad” for some women. But Clarissa remains convinced she did the right thing.

By the end of the novel, Clarissa seems at peace with her choice. She even finds comfort in knowing Peter still thinks of her “Clarissa” (not “Mrs. Dalloway”). In the final scene, Clarissa feels her life was all she could have, given the pressures of age and society. She reflects that her strength lies in endurance – in living the life she has, with all its compromises.

Clarissa's Marriage Choice: What It Reveals

Clarissa Dalloway’s choice of marriage partner reveals much about her character and Woolf’s themes:

• Pragmatism and Independence: Clarissa is practical. She desires independence even within marriage. Her decision shows she values a partnership that leaves “room for air and freedom”. This balance – having her own identity (Clarissa) as well as her role (Mrs. Dalloway) – is precisely what she seeks.
• Social Conformity: Clarissa cares about her place in society. Marrying Richard gives her status and security, reflecting the social norms of her time. As a political hostess and mother, she fulfills her expected role, even if parts of her yearn for the past.
• Sacrifice of Passion: Her choice also highlights a bittersweet sacrifice. Clarissa often reminisces about the “most exquisite moment” with Sally or what life with Peter might have been. These memories show that she gave up a certain kind of love and excitement.

• Emphasis on Mental Space: In Mrs. Dalloway, characters often feel trapped or constrained. Clarissa’s marriage choice illustrates Woolf’s idea that a “successful marriage means having one’s own space”. Clarissa gets that space with Richard – enough freedom that she doesn’t feel entirely lost, even as “Mrs. Richard Dalloway”.

In effect, Clarissa’s marriage choice reveals her as a character caught between duty and desire. She chose a stable life, accepted the loneliness it could bring, and found ways to preserve herself. The novel ultimately shows Clarissa cherishing her life (and her parties) as an offering of sorts – the gift she can give to the world even after the days of passion have passed.